I'm Not Afraid of People Deconstructing Their Faith, Here's Why

By the way, Jesus isn't worried about it either.

Photo by Volodymyr Hryshchenko on Unsplash

I want people to ask questions about their faith.

Over the last few years, we have seen this movement of people who are “deconstructing” their faith and deciding they are no longer Christians.

This has prompted a multitude of responses from the Christian world, and it is sad to me how some of these responses are so harsh and condemning that it doesn’t surprise me why people walk away from their faith.

What does it mean to deconstruct one’s faith?

When you look for a succinct answer to this, you don’t actually find it. After a little bit of time searching, you will find something like this:

“For our purposes—that is, regarding religious faith—we’ll define it as the taking apart of an idea, practice, tradition, belief, or system into smaller components in order to examine their foundation, truthfulness, usefulness, and impact.”
- Melanie Mudge, Sophia Society

Now, the deeper you go into understanding deconstruction and reading the stories of people who have deconstructed their faith, the more you realize that deconstruction is an incomplete term.

What does it mean to deconstruct?

Here are the four main definitions from Merriam-Webster:

1. “to examine (something, such as a work of literature) using the methods of deconstruction”

2. “to take apart or examine (something) in order to reveal the basis or composition often with the intention of exposing biases, flaws, or inconsistencies”

3. “to adapt or separate the elements of for use in an ironic or radically new way”

4. “DESTROY, DEMOLISH”

When we hear the word ‘deconstruction,’ I initially think of taking it apart and putting it back together. Yet, by definition, there is no intent of putting back together what one takes apart.

So, when some Christians enter into the practice of deconstructing their faith, they begin taking things apart and agree with the idea that you don’t have to put it back together.

And I understand why. There are plenty of people who have grown up in church and faith settings who have experienced deep hurts and abuses. Some people have been neglected by the church.

And when it comes to deconstructing one’s faith, it doesn’t surprise me that someone wants to take it apart and not put it back together. Especially, when the hurts and abuses seemingly outweigh the good they could experience in putting things back together.

The Choice to Deconstruct or Reconstruct

People come through breaking down their faith in two different ways: they choose to stop believing their faith, or they are strengthened in their faith.

Yet, there is something that seems always to be the critical factor in walking away from one’s faith and sticking it out to be strengthened.

It’s Jesus.

If people feel the slightest connection to Jesus and are willing to bring every question and difficult thing before him in the tearing down of their faith, they almost always find the answers they seek and are strengthened.

And when they don’t and even question if Jesus is here to speak to them, walk with them, or even comfort them, then everything is drastically different.

In every story, there is always a choice: Will I do this with God? Or without God?

It doesn’t have to do with the church. It doesn’t have to do with a pastor or event or movement of people. It concerns Jesus and whether or not someone is still willing to let him in or push him away.

The choice to deconstruct altogether or be willing to reconstruct hinges on Jesus. And the thing is, no one can tell someone to do this. They have to choose. The reconstruction opportunity remains if someone is willing to go through with Jesus.

As Christians, What Can We Do?

I think most Christians want to be helpful to their friends and family who are deconstructing their faith. But they don’t know how to be supportive and encouraging.

The idea that the ones they love might walk away from their faith scares them. I get it. It would scare me, too. But we have a unique opportunity to help. We can stand next to them and encourage (not push).

We can help point people to Jesus without pushing them to Jesus. Here is what I would do in these situations:

1. Ask questions. Don’t make assumptions.

2. Listen. A lot of times, people need to talk it out.

3. Prepare to hear hard things. There will likely be hurts that you do or don’t know about. Support, comfort, and validate people in these times.

4. Ask if you can help. Don’t just help. If they invite you, you can learn and encourage them.

5. Pray. When you are away, pray for them. When you are helping, pray for them. Heck, if there is an opportunity with them, ask if you can pray for them.

I Want to Help

This has been on my heart since my wife and I became leaders of a small house church. We have heard the stories of hurt, brokenness, and abuse that people have experienced in the church.

We read about the stories of people leaving their faith after deconstructing it. Some of them were people we knew but never knew the underlying struggles that they were going through.

As I think about this year, I want to spend some time writing articles to help people reconstruct their faith. I’m willing to ask the hard questions and look into the answers.

Most of all, I want to bring it all before Jesus.

I’m not afraid of what I will find on the other side. I think I know what the answers will be. But I want to hear what Jesus says as we walk through these tough questions together.

So, what do you say? Want to join in this journey?

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J.R. Heimbigner is a #1 Bestselling Author on Amazon who writes about faith and writing books. He has self-published four bible study devotionals on Amazon. Check them out below:

• The Gospel of Matthew

• The Gospel of Mark (Brand New!)

• The Gospel of John

• The Book of Proverbs